In Her Eyes
by Sarah Meyers
Author's Notes: There's part of a song in this and it's called I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi.. And to Krys who likes to pick on me here, I love you too. Your my inspiration baby...
I'm lost again in her eyes. I wonder if she ever notices the way I look at her, or the way I can read her eyes. The funniest thing is, I know about her than even she does. Sure, I don't know her memories and her past but when I look into her eyes I can see every emotion she's feeling at that moment whether she realizes it or not. What I see now, as she looks at me is something new.
"Faith, are you even listening to me?"
I loose my train of thought and suddenly what was in her eyes is gone. Hidden to the world once again. Hidden to even herself because she's not ready to face it yet. "Yeah B, of course I am." So I lie.
"Whatever," she mumbles and walks off. I know she expects me to follow her and normally I would, but this time was different. I was still too awestruck by what I saw flash in her eyes as she was talking to me. I saw love.
So what's the big deal right? Buffy's full of love, and it's one of the things I've come to love about her already. But it wasn't just love for her friends, or her mom, or even soul boy. It was love for me. Holy shit!
So by the time I regain my ability of speech she's already out of my sight. I know better than to chase after her though because she's probably very pissed at me right now. So I'll just give her some time to cool off and I'll find her in the morning. I bet she's even wondering why she's so pissed at me. Does she even realize what she feels?
When I finally reach my motel room I realize I've still got that huge lopsided grin on my face and I try my best to get rid of it. It doesn't go well with the whole 'look at me funny and I'll kick your ass' look I've got going on. As soon as I'm in the door I fall onto the bed and turn on the radio. I try to find a decent station but it seems that no one in around this place listens to the same kind of music as I do so I eventually give up on trying to find a decent station.
I was just about to fall asleep when this one song came on. It caught my attention and I found myself intently listening to the words.
I'll be there for you These five words I swear to you. When you breathe I wanna be the air for you, I'll be there for you. I'll live and I'll die for you, I'd steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do, I'll be there for you.
And I don't know what happened but the next thing I know I'm feeling like I should go tell B that I love her. If she didn't realize it yet, then I'd just have to show her how she feels about me. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and pull my boots back on.
Next thing I know I'm standing outside of B's house just waiting. I know it's way too late to knock but with her slayer sense she'll know I'm here. Sure enough, a minute later the door opens and she smiles at me.
"Faith, what are you doing here so late?"
Suddenly all the confidence in telling her how I feel fades away. I look deep into her eyes and the love is still there. Maybe it's me that's not ready to face love yet. Maybe that's why she keeps it hidden, because she knows I've never been serious about anything or anyone in my life. 'Too many quiestions,' I think to myself before realizing I need an excuse to be here.
"I was just out for a walk?"
'Smooth one Faith. Like she's going to buy that.,' I mumble so low that even she can't hear me. When she doesn't laugh or say anything to me I feel relieved. She knows there's something more to it, but by now she knows better than to press me for stuff like that. Instead she takes my hand in hers and pulls me into her house.
As we're heading up the stairs I finally stop and look at her curiously. "Where are we going?"
"To bed," she looks at me like I was insane for not knowing that. Like this was something that happened often. "It's late and your staying here so you can tell me whatever it is you came to tell me in the morning."
I'll be damned if she didn't know me well. I just nod and she pulls on my hand urging me to follow her to her room. She's already got her night clothes on so as soon as we get in her room she crawls back into her bed making sure to leave room for me. I'm feeling awkward as hell by now, but it's not like I was complaining about spending a night with B. So I do what I do best, simply shrug. After I pull my boots off, my pants follow.
She's watching me and I turn to look at her, and the love and adoration is still there. I feel a lump forming in my throat and shut off her lights before she gets the chance to see how close to tears I was from the thought of knowing she loved me.
When I get in bed I lay on my back with my hands resting under my head. She doesn't say anything to me but I know she still watching me. "B, I gotta tell you something." I gather all my courage knowing this could possibly be the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. But I also know it doesn't matter, because even if it freaks her out now, she still loves me. She'll admit it one day if she can't now.
She moves closer to me and wraps her arm around my waist. Almost instinctively my arms encompass her and I feel like I'm holding onto my very own piece of heaven. "Why did you come here Faith?" She cuddles into my embrace and my heart feels like it's going to explode from beating so fast.
"Just came to tell you I love you B." I close my eyes expecting the worst. Her quiet laugh was definitely the last thing. I expected maybe anger, rejection but not for her to poke fun at me for it. "I'm being serious B, I really love you."
"I know," she tells me softly. "I love you too Faith. If you had been listening to me earlier you would have known that. I told you I loved you while you were playing space cadet staring into my eyes." She laughed again and my jaw dropped.
No wonder she took off when I wasn't listening to her earlier. "I'm sorry," I offer, but I know it doesn't matter now. I just know I'm damn glad I heard that lame song and got the nerve to come here. Before I can think anymore I feel her lips softly brush against mine in a tender kiss. When she pulls back she repositions herself in my arms and soon falls asleep. I couldn't believe my luck, but things were definitely looking up now that I've come to Sunnydale.