Blind Faith: The Healing
Disclaimer: Buffy and Faith along with the rest belong to Joss, I am
only borrowing them for a little while.
Author's Notes: Buffy brings Faith back to Sunnydale but what's happening between the slayers (heheh now let me see if I can drag it out a little more) <> indicates thought.
Thanks: Most cool thanks for Coy for giving way cool advise and doing a rad job at editing and betaing, oh yeah and for being a way cool friend also. Way cool thanks to Carol for helping me with the technical issues of this fic and well just for being Carol.
Feedback: Hey I am addicted so please send.
Faith sat nervously in the car, glad that the trip was over, but afraid of what Sunnydale had in store for her. She still was haunted by her past and now here she was in the place that saw her turn against her friends and do everything she could destroy them and herself, <Fuck why'd I come back here, so much went wrong here, I turned on every person in this car, I hurt her, ruined what we had, damn I was stupid, but here I am back in the Hellmouth. Come on vamps take a taste of the blind slayer, she can't do anything to ya anymore. I guess I gotta be nuts to be doin' this, no it's not that, it's B. She said I was going to Sunnydale with her, so I came, I just hope I don't fuck things up like last time, I don't deserve this, I don't deserve her, but there she is sitting in the car with me somewhere in Sunnydale, not saying a word. God where the fuck are we, I hate this. I should be able to see where we are, oh it's the library, or the Bronze but I can't. Gods it's so fuckin' unfair, why the hell don't I know where we are.>
Buffy took a quick look over at Faith then got out of the car. <Okay here we go Summers, keep cool, you can't let yourself get hurt again, you can do this.> She walked around to the passenger side of the car and opened the door, "Faith we're at Giles, you're gonna be staying here for awhile. Are you ready," <I hope you are because I'm not.>
A few moments later Faith almost jumped when the passenger side door opened and she felt someone take her arm, "It's okay Faith, I'm just gonna help you into Giles house."
The two slayers started up towards Giles porch, Faith holding on firmly to Buffy's arm, <God why is everything moving in slow motion. It's taking forever to get to the door, why is it taking forever to get to the door,> Faith tightened her grip around Buffy's arm as the two slayers carefully made their way towards Giles porch, <Does he have step, I can't remember if he has steps. God I don't want to fall, not in front of B. Fuck please don't let there be a step.>
"Okay Faith, there's just a couple steps then we'll be on the porch."
<Steps why'd there have to be steps,> "B..I…I don't know…."
"Don't worry about them, I got ya."
"You got me," Faith replied, very unsure of the whole situation.
"Yeah I got ya, I won't let you fall," Buffy answered, "Okay we're at the steps, you ready?"
<Damn I can't believe this, I'm afraid of going up some Fuckin' steps, but I don't want to fall, God what's gonna happen to me, how am I gonna make it here if I can't even go up some damn steps.>
"Faith, we can do this," Buffy assured her fellow slayer, "I'm not gonna let you fall. Are ya ready?"
Willow stood behind the two slayers holding Faith's suitcase with one hand and Tara's hand with the other, "I don't know if she's gonna be able to do the steps, maybe we should levitate her."
"We can't do that, this is something both of them need to do."
"You sure about that because they're just standing there, not doing anything, and I know we could help with a quick spell."
"I know Honey, but this is something Faith and Buffy need to do."
Faith took a deep breath, <Okay it's now or never, you can do this you got B,> "Okay let's do it."
Faith clung to Buffy's arm as she stepped out towards the first step, <God please be there,> then breath a sigh of relief when she made contact with the step.
"Okay there's two more steps to go Faith."
<Fuck I'm not even half way there but B's got me, I might be able to pull this off, please let me be able to pull this off.>
Faith intently listened to Buffy's instructions as she finished of the remaining steps and reached Giles porch, <God I'm glad that's over, but I did it and B didn't let me fall just like she said. Wait, she said she wouldn't let me fall maybe there's hope; maybe I haven't ruined any chance I would ever have. Hell who am I kidding she hasn't even forgave me yet.>
Buffy lead Faith over to the couch and helped the brunette get seated, "Giles where do you want Wills to put Faith's suitcase?"
Giles pointed over to the guest bedroom off to the right, "In there will be fine."
"Good you got it Wills?"
Before Willow could reply, Buffy started talking again, "Good, looks like everything's under control for now."
"Buffy you're leaving already," Willow inquired, trying to figure out what was going through the blonde's mind.
"I'll be back, don't worry," Buffy replied before darting out the door.
Faith sat on the couch, in the unfamiliar room and listened to the conversation that was taking place, <Great we've been here for less than a minute and B's already leaving, guess I was really kidding myself. Why should she ever forgive me, hell I can't even help her slay anymore, God why'd I let her bring me her, I should have know B wasn't gonna forgive me, what the fuck was I thinking.>
Willow and Tara gave a puzzled look in Giles direction, followed by a few moments of awkward silence.
"Faith, uh how was the trip from LA," Giles asked, trying to get something that resembled a conversation going.
"It was okay."
"Good, glad to here it," <Come on Giles you're the adult here think of something to say,> "Would you like something to drink?"
"Sure, do you have any soda," <Great now I have to try and not spill anything on myself, I should have just said no and waited till Red and Blondie left, at least B isn't here to see this.>
Giles handed Faith a Pepsi, "I put a straw in it for you."
"Thanks," <This isn't too bad now all I have to do is not poke myself in the eye or nose with the damn thing, at least I won't spill it all over myself.>
"Buffy, you're back," Willow exclaimed.
<B's back, God I just know I'm gonna poke myself with this damn straw now, maybe I should ask Giles to put it in the fridge till B leaves.>
"I said I was gonna be right back," Buffy replies, as she tossed a large backpack on one of Giles chairs.
Giles eyed the backpack for a second, then gave Buffy a rather confused look, "I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's the backpack for?"
"I'm camping out in your living room."
"I'm camping out in your living room, you know just in case any vamps show up," <Come Giles you just gotta buy that, I don't want to go into this.>
"Buffy you know there is no way a vamp could get in here, if it would make you feel better I could have Willow and Tara put up a few wards, but you don't have to stay here."
"Look I'm the Slayer and if they show up I'll slay them, you never know they might figure out a way to get in."
"Buffy, Faith and I are perfectly safe here."
"And you'll be even safer with me staying here."
"Vamps are not going to get in my house."
"You don't know that so I'm staying."
"Giles we can argue about this all night but I'm still gonna camp out in your living room."
Giles looked at the blonde slayer and saw that there was no way he was going to win this argument, "Okay, you can stay."
Buffy smiled at Giles and took a seat on the couch next to Faith, "Now that that's settled could I get something to drink."
Giles shook his head and headed off to the kitchen to get Buffy a Pepsi.
Buffy looked over at Faith who was tightly holding her soda in both hands, "You really should drink that before it gets warm."
<Damn she's sitting right next to me, what if I poke myself with the straw,> Faith's hands where trembling as brought the soda towards her, <Okay I did the stairs, I can do this, I just need to take it slowly.>
"Here let me help," Buffy replied, reaching over and softly placing her hand on top of Faith's.
<B's touching my hand, God I'm gonna drop this soda and get it all over both of us,> "B, what are you doing," <Not that I mind, because it really feels nice. Come on Spencer get a grip, she's only helping you not to spill your drink, it's not like she's holding your hand.>
<Oh my God, I'm not suppose to be feeling this way, I'm just suppose to be helping her, it's just a simple touch, it doesn't mean anything,> "Just helping out a little, say Ahh," <who am I kidding it means everything, I don't want it to but it does. Damn I got it bad; I just hope I don't get hurt again.>
Faith took a sip of her soda, "Thanks B."
"No problem, I told you I was here for ya," <God why'd I say that, because I wanted to, that's why.>
<B's here for me,> Faith sipped happily away on her drink Buffy took a quick sip of her soda, "We need to get some rest, tomorrow's a big day."
"What's tomorrow B?"
"Tomorrow me and Giles are taking you to the campus."
"Yeah, they have a program there that's gonna help you out."
Faith held her arms up in the air letting Buffy slid a T-shirt on her, <Damn I can't even get dressed without help, but it's B helping me. I don't know of I should be mad that B has to help me get dressed or if I should be glad that B is willing to do this. God I hate this I'm not even sure what to think anymore.>
Buffy tucked in Faith's T-shirt and paused for a minute with her arms around the brunette's waist, <I don't want to let go, it feels so right to be holding on to her like this …I don't want to let go, but I got to, I just hope she didn't notice.>
<What's she doing, I swear if I didn't know any better I'd say she was hugging me, but why would B want to hug me.>
"There all done, let's get some breakfast," Buffy paused for a moment and placed her hand tenderly on Faith's shoulder, "Faith…"
<Come on Summers say it, you know you want to say it so say it,> "I forgive you."
<Oh my God, she forgave me, B forgave me,> tears started to slowly form in Faith's eyes, <God what do I say now, I've been practicing for this moment every since I got locked up but I can't take think of a damn thing to say.>
<Great she's not saying anything I blew it, way to go Summers you just had to go and ruin it, you should have waited longer,> "Faith, are you okay…?"
<Breath for Christ sake,> "Y-you forgive me," Faith asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, I should have said it sooner, but…."
<God is this really happening, I've been hoping to hear those words ever since I turned myself in, maybe it's a dream. No I'm awake, it's not a dream, and B really is forgiving me. God I got to think of something to say here, I can't let her do all the talking, I'm the one who screwed things up, maybe I should tell her that I love her, after all we did have it nice for a little while. Fuck I can't do that, it just make her think about what I did to her last time how I held her, told her I loved her, then turned on her,> "B ya don't have to explain, heck you don't even have to forgive me I don't deserve it. I screwed up so bad and I do sorry for what I did…"
Buffy wiped the tears off the brunette's cheek, "We both screwed up Faith, maybe if I had paid a little more attention to what was happening non of this would have happened, can you forgive me?"
<What! B wants me to forgive her. I'm the one who fucked up, God I wasn't expecting this, what the hell am I suppose to do,> "B you didn't do anything wrong, it was all me."
"No…I should have seen what was happening but I didn't," Buffy sobbed, "I should have been there for you."
<Oh my say something quick Faith or you're gonna loose her,> Faith nervously reached out for Buffy, <God please don't let me poke her in the eye or something.> Her hand was shaking as she slowly moved it towards Buffy's face, <God it feels like she's a mile away…why the hell am I doing this, I'm gonna poke her in the eye or something.>
Buffy watched as Faith's hand moved in slow motion, her heart pounded faster with every inch the brunette's hand got closer to her, <Breath Summers, Breath.>
<Why does this have to be so hard, all I want to do is touch her shoulder and tell her that it's okay, and that I forgive her?>
<Maybe I should help her, but I'm not sure what she's doing, Oh my god why'd I have to give her the red T-shirt, she looks so cute…Damn it Summers concentrate, you can't let yourself go there.>
Both the slayers eyes widen and Faith turned a rather bright shade of red as she missed Buffy's shoulder by a few inches and planted her hand firmly on the blonde's right breast.
<Oh my God, that's not B shoulder, what the hell do I do now.>
<Breath Summers Breath, she didn't mean to do it, it was an accident, but why am I not moving, I should be moving but I am not, damn I do got it bad.>
<Damn I went to try and comfort B and I end up feeling her up, this is just fuckin' great, she has to hate me now…God why am I just leaving my hand there, or why isn't B tossing it off her breast, God I got to do something,> Faith pulled her hand away from Buffy only to have the blonde slayer gently grab it, <What's B doing?>
Buffy moved Faith's hand up and placed it on her shoulder, "Is that better?"
<Okay she doesn't seem to be mad, that's good, but why is she still holding onto my hand,> "Yeah, thanks," <Damn I can't remember why I was gonna do this in the first place, as soon as I touched her it was gone, B's gonna think I lost it.>
The chosen two stood there for a couple of moments, neither one of them wanted to move or knowing what to say.
<I got to do something, we just can't stand her for the rest of the day, not that I mind, damn what am I saying,> Buffy removed Faith's hand from her shoulder but didn't let go, "Let's go get some breakfast."
"Sounds good to me B. What's on the menu?"
<Cereal, fuck just what I needed after that, first I end up groping B and now I am gonna get cereal all over me.>
Faith sat at Giles dining room table next to B, slowly sliding her hand across the wooden surface, <where the hell is the bowl,> after a few seconds of carefully searching she felt her hand brush up against the bowl and some cold milk splash on top of it, <great I haven't even started to eat and I already got some of my breakfast on me, why the hell couldn't it be a sandwich or something, I don't want to try and eat cereal in front of B, I don't want her to see me spilling food all over myself, wonder if she would buy it if I told her I wasn't hungry.>
Faith carefully made her way up the side of the bowl trying not to spill any more milk on Giles table. She reached the rim of the bowl and traced along it searching for the spoon, <God why does this have to be so hard. I've fought vampires and demons and now I am getting my butt kicked by a damn bowl of cereal, it's just not fuckin' fair.>
Buffy could feel her heart breaking as she watched Faith take the spoon in her trembling hand and spill its' contents on Giles table. She new Giles had told her earlier that Faith need to learn to do things like eating and getting around but she couldn't sit there and watch the brunette go through this.
Faith was trying her best to hold back the tears as another spoon full of cereal struck the top of Giles table, <Damn I'm spilling this stuff all over the place and in front of B, God why can't I do this.> Faith dropped her spoon on the table, <God I can't even fuckin eat, I'd run back to my room but then I'd probably fall down, damn I want to get out of this kitchen.>
Buffy reached over and picked up the spoon, "Faith?"
"B," gulped Faith, <Great she's gonna tell me how useless I am, that she was wrong to bring me here, can't say I blame her what good is a slayer who can't even eat a damn bowl of cereal by herself.>
"Let me help," Buffy replied, dipping the spoon into Faith's cereal.
Giles sat back in his chair and sipped on his tea, watching Buffy feed Faith and making a mental note that he needed to talk to her about letting Faith do things for herself.
UC Sunnydale, Learning center for the Blind:
Faith sat in a chair clinging tightly to Buffy's arm as she listened to Chris Bremen, director of the Sunnydale center talk.
"First of all I would like to say welcome to the UC Sunnydale learning center for the blind and we are glad to have you joining us. Second I would like to tell you a little about the center then answer any questions that you might have," Chris paused a moment then continued, "We have a fully trained staff who is going to help you learn to get around, we cal this mobility training. They'll show you how to get around your house, then later on how to get around town. You'll also learn how to do things for yourself so you can be more independent. We also have Braille instructors who will teach you how to read and a very talent cooking instructor who later on will show you how to get around a kitchen."
Faith squeezed Buffy's arm, "That sounds like a lot," <God I'm not gonna be able to do this, why'd B bring me here.>
"Yes, but we'll take it slow. You don't have to worry about it, the center here has one of the best staffs in California and they will customize the program to fit your needs."
"Okay," Faith nervously replied.
"Good, now there is one formality I have to insist on, one of our staff is going to need to visit you and your friends at home, it's important for you to learn how to get about at home and it's better for your training if we also work with your friends and family."
After scheduling a home visit for Saturday, smiled at the two young women and Giles, "So now that's out of the way how about a tour of the center?"
"That would be great," Buffy exclaimed.
"Yeah that would be nice," Faith added.
Giles looked over at Buffy, "Buffy don't you have to go to class in a little bit?"
"I'm not going to my classes today."
"Buffy you need to go to class, we can handle things here."
"Giles I am not going to classes today, this is more important," Buffy calmly replied.
The ex-watcher looked at Buffy and saw the same look of determination in her face when she had insisted on camping out in his living room, <I definitely am going to have to have a talk with her,> "Okay, but you had better be in class tomorrow or I'm talking with your Mom."
"Deal," Buffy confidently replied.
Faith leaned back against her head bored and thought about everything that had happened to her today. At first she had been really nervous about going to the campus but she was glad she did, everyone there had been so nice, maybe it was going to be possible for her to make it like this after all. She ran her hand over the small wooden box that was resting on her lap, that box had helped her make it through some of her darkest hours in prison.
Every time she had felt her world starting to cave in, every time she had wondered if she was gonna be able to change she had opened it up and talked to the picture of Buffy, <God B if you only knew how much you helped me.>
Faith felt around the side of the bed for a few moments until she found the nightstand, she then carefully placed the box on it; <guess I don't need you anymore, not with the real thing camping outside my room. God if I only could talk to B like I talked to you, I'd tell her I love her, that I need her, but of course you couldn't run away from me, but she can and I don't want to lose her, not know.>
Faith leaned back in bed, <Now only if I can figure out what's going on with B. I was afraid that maybe she wouldn't forgive me but she did, maybe I still have a chance with her, maybe she still has feelings for me, maybe I'm nuts. God I wish there was a chance for me and B to get back together, but I might have burnt that bridge, if only I hadn't been so fuckin' stupid and saw how good I had it, but no I had to go all evil and ruin the best thing I had going in my life…way to go, guess I should get the how to screw everything up award, but maybe I didn't screw it up as bad as I thought I did. She's out there on the couch and she doesn't have to be. She brought me to Sunnydale instead of leaving me in LA, but that could be her sense of duty, maybe that's why she went to the center with me too. God B, I wish I knew what you were thinking, do I still have a chance, could you love me again.>
Buffy sat on the couch staring at the door that led to Faith's room, <God what am I suppose to do, I can't go on like this anymore, but I'm afraid to tell her that I love her, that I never stopped loving her. I know she wouldn't intently hurt me like the last time but what if she doesn't feel that way anymore, what if she never felt that way. God I just don't know what to do, I want to pull her close to me, tell her that I love her, but I can't. Why can't I do it, it's just three simple words, but they mean so much, God what am I gonna do.>
"Buffy, I need to talk to you," Giles replied.
The slayer turned away from Faith's door and looked over at Giles, "About what?"
Giles walked across the room and took a seat in the recliner, "About you."
"Yes. Buffy what's going on?"
"Nothings going on, everything's fine."
"Buffy I'm not an idiot, everything is not fine. I mean you're camping out in my living room under the pretense that vamps might get in and get to Faith."
"We already covered this, I really don't see…"
"I'm not done," Giles replied cutting Buffy off, "that's only the tip of the iceberg. You're not going to your classes because for some reason you have to be the only one who helps Faith. Buffy listen to me, I know what I am doing. My brother Jonathan was born blind and I helped raise him, so I do have an idea of what to do to help Faith. Plus the others can help to if we need them."
"Giles, I appreciate it but…"
"No buts, look there is no reason for you to try and do this all alone, everyone's here to help."
"It's not that simple, I have to do it," Buffy began to cry.
Buffy lowered her head, "I just do."
Giles got up from his chair and walked over to his surrogate daughter, "Buffy, I'm trying to understand, but you're not helping any. I want to help but you won't let me."
Giles placed his hand on the slayer's shoulder, "Why do you think you have to do this on your own?"
Buffy looked up at Giles, tears rolling down her cheeks, "Because I love her."
"Yeah, I never got over her from the last time."
"The last time, you mean before she..."
"Yeah, we were sorta dating, I was in love with Faith and I thought she felt the same way, then she went all evil," Buffy said with a sob in her voice.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know."
"No one did," Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes, "I still love her Giles, I want to tell her but I'm afraid, that's why I've been doing everything the way I have."
"Yeah. I knew when I saw her in the hospital I still loved her, and after she got back here I realized I wanted her to love me."
"Buffy running yourself ragged isn't going to make Faith love you."
"I know," Buffy cried, "I just figured that if we could be close to each other, that she might fall for me again."
Faith sat in her bed weeping over what she had just overheard, <Tomorrow B I'm telling you that I love you and then we can be together again.>
"In my life, there's been heartache and pain I don't know if I can face it again Can't stop now, I've traveled so far To change this lonely life I want to know what love is I want you to show me I want to feel what love is I know you can show me" --Foreigner, 'I want to know what love is'
Faith sat up in bed, nervously fiddling with her fingers as she listened to the grandfather clock in Giles living room slowly tick away. <God why am I so nervous, I know B loves me, I heard her tell the G-man. I'm not suppose to be like this, all tied up on the inside, afraid of how she's gonna react. I should be happy with butterflies and everything but I'm not. Instead I am sitting up in bed at three in the morning worried that B is going to run away screaming, not that I can blame her. God I fucked things up so much last time, she offered me love and instead of taking it I used and hurt the one person that means more to me than anything else. God B please don't freak out when I tell you, I promise I won't hurt you again, I'd rather die than do that.>
Buffy sat on the couch staring at Faith's bedroom door, <Damn Summers what are you gonna do now. It's bad enough I'm head over heels in love with Faith but that wasn't enough was it; no I had to go and tell Giles. Maybe I could get Willow and Tara to put a spell on him so he wouldn't remember what I said, no can't do that then I would have to tell them what's going on. Damn why does this have to be so complicated, I wasn't suppose to fall for her again, I was only gonna help, God what am I going to do.>
Later that morning…
Faith leaned back against the headboard waiting for someone to come and help her get ready for her first full day at the center and hoping it was Buffy. According to the chiming Grandfather clock it was five in the morning so she was gonna have to wait another hour or so until someone came, <God I hate this, I can't do anything but just sit hear and wait for someone to come and get me, this is worse than when I was in prison. At least then I knew what was going on around me, I knew how to get around now I can't even go from one room or another without someone fucking helping me. God if I only could get up and get something to drink without half killing myself, fuck why'd this have to happen. Guess I should be happy that B is here taking care of me, God why does she still love me; after all I did to her, and now this. God please don't let her freak out, I have to make up everything to B.>
Buffy carefully pushed Faith's bedroom door open so that she wouldn't wake the brunette if she was still asleep. She looked over at the bed and saw Faith sitting there twiddling her thumbs, <God she's beautiful,> "Faith?"
"B…y-you're early," <Get a grip, you can do this, you can tell her.>
"Couldn't sleep," <She stuttered, something's wrong…Oh My God what if she heard me and Giles talking, fuck she knows and doesn't feel the same way.>
"Same here, guess it's catchy," Faith nervously replied.
<God that's it, she knows, quick think of something,> "Do you n-need anything, you know something to drink or eat, maybe orange juice, yeah orange juice would be nice."
<Damn B's babbling, I got to tell her before she has a heart attack or something,> "B, I don't need any orange juice…c-could we t-talk?"
<Brace yourself hear it comes,> "Okay."
"Maybe we should talk in the living room?"
Faith leaned up against Buffy and took her arm after the blonde had helped her out of bed, <I could definitely get used to this.>
<God if she is going to let me down why is she leaning up against me like that. Maybe I was wrong, maybe she didn't hear me and Giles talking, or maybe she did…God I wish I knew what was happening here.>
"Okay, we're here," <And it's a good thing a few more seconds of having you lean on me like that and I would have had to kiss you…damn get a grip on yourself Summers, she doesn't feel the same way.>
Buffy helped Faith onto the couch and took a seat next to her, <Okay time to find out what's going on,> "Faith, you said you w-wanted to talk," Buffy asked with a hint of anxiety in her voice.
"B, could you hold my…hand," <Please do it, please.>
<Okay she wouldn't ask me to hold her hand if she was gonna tell me she doesn't love me, or would she,> Buffy took Faith by the hand, "Okay," she sighed.
<Okay here it goes, B, I uh, (Come one spit it out, tell her you love her,> "Buffy…"
"Faith is everything Okay, I mean you called me Buffy and you never call me Buffy. It's always B and now pow out of nowhere you're calling me Buffy," <Damn get a grip on yourself Summers and stop babbling.>
"B everything okay it's just that this is kinda big."
<Oh my God, this can't be good,> "How big?"
"Really big…I know I hurt you and I'd give anything to take it back but I can't," Faith sobbed, "I know I don't deserve it but I have to ask…. B-Buffy I still think about us and I want to try again…c-could you give us another chance," <Please say yes, you just gotta say yes.>
"B, I love you, I always have. God I know I screwed things up so bad, and I know I hurt you. I wouldn't blame you if you went running out the door and never looked back," Faith replied with tears rolling down her face, "but I have to tell you that I love you and asked, God B I'm begging here, please give us another chance. I love you so much, the only reason I made it this far is because I knew I love you. God if you'll just give me another chance I swear on all that is holy that I will love you with everything that I have, that I'll never hurt you, that I won't ever let you down again."
Tears formed in the blonde's eyes as she reached over and wiped the tears from Faith's cheek, "God I can't believe this is happening, I wanted it to happen so bad ever since I saw you in LA…You really love me."
Faith felt a warm sensation gently breeze through her body as Buffy's hand caressed up against her cheek, "With all my heart, all my soul…."
Buffy placed her finger over the brunette's lips, "Shhhh. You don't have to say anymore, you've made me the happiest slayer in the world just by saying that you love me."
The blonde slayer then leaned into Faith and gently placed a kiss on her forehead.
<B just kissed me. She didn't run away and she kissed me.>
"Faith you know what I see?"
"What," Faith nervously inquired.
"I see the most beautiful girl in the world and love her more than I've ever loved anyone. …I want to give us another chance."
"Yeah I do," Buffy replied, before tenderly kissing Faith.
"You love me," Faith asked, hoping all of this wasn't some cruel dream.
Buffy gently ran her hand through Faith's hair sending a mixture of erotic sensations through the brunette's body, "I love you."
The two slayers sat there on the couch holding on to each other weeping tears of happiness over the long lost love they had found again. Finally after a few moments they regretfully broke their embrace to get ready for Faith's first day at the center.
Buffy smiled at Faith and saw that the dark haired slayer seemed so sad, almost like she was gonna cry.
<Be strong! Accept it Faith...you're blind.>
"Faith, are you Okay?"
<Am I okay, no I'm not okay. Everything I had been dreaming about for the last couple of years has come just come true, I used to dream about how it would be if you ever could love me again, and now it's happen and I can't see you…. I can't fucking see you and it's tearing me apart.>
Buffy placed her hands on Faith's shoulder, "Faith talk to me, tell me what's wrong," <please tell me, did I do something wrong.>
<I want to see how beautiful you are, I want to see your golden flowing hair being blown by a gentle breeze, I want to see your luscious lips, and your angelic body. I want to melt in your enchanting hazel eyes, the ones I fell in love with, that captured my heart and soul. God only to see those eyes again, but I can't. You're the only beautiful thing in my life and I can't even fucking see you.>
"Faith? Come Faith we just got together again, talk to me," <Please talk to me, tell me what's wrong so I can make it better.>
Tears of anguish flowed down Faith's face, <Damn, I such a wuss, I'm pathetic.>
"What's wrong Faith," Buffy asked seeing the tears in Faith's eyes. Her heart shattered into a million pieces just from seeing a single tear drip down the brunette's face, <Oh God. Please don't cry. I can't stand it if you cry!>
"N-nothin'," <Great cope out, God she's gonna hate me.>
"No Faith, I'm not buying it. You told me that you would never hurt me, that you loved me with all your heart and soul. I'm not gonna sit back and watch you suffer like this. Come Faith you got to tell me, we can get through whatever it is that's bothering you if you tell me," Buffy pleaded, tears of her own form in her eyes.
"It hurts too much," Faith sobbed.
"What hurts, what happened?" Buffy asked in a near panic.
"It's not that kind of hurt," Faith cried putting her hand over her heart, "It's this kind."
Buffy reached over and placed her hand on top of Faith's, "Then let me help, what's wrong."
"I dreamed of this moment B, I dreamed of us being together again and now that it's happen…it hurts."
"Why does it hurt?"
"Because I'm blind…. I just.... I just wish I could see you...." Faith said so quietly that only Slayer hearing could pick it up. "I know it sounds silly but I would give anything just to see you right now, but I can't and it's tearing me apart."
<God I think my heart's gonna break, all she wants to do is see me and she can't, it's not fair,> "Faith," Buffy tenderly spoke, wiping the tears from the brunette's face.
"Do you remember yesterday at the center, when you met your counselor and she said how you were gonna learn to use your hands in place of your eyes?"
"Y-yeah..." Faith said unsure of where Buffy was going with this.
"Well...You can see me." Buffy said grabbing Faith's hands. "With your hands."
"Oh no! Buffy!" Faith said pulling her hands away from Buffy. "I can't touch you!"
"Because t-they're dirty!" Faith cried showing Buffy her hands. "I k-killed with these."
Buffy shook her head. "No Faith."
"But I did!"
"Yeah but you're wrong. They're clean now." Buffy smiled grabbing Faith's hands once again. This time Faith didn't pull away.
"Let me." Buffy said rubbing Faith's hands with her thumbs.
Faith gulped, "B are you sure about this?"
"Do you love me?"
"Then trust me," Buffy replies, slowly, bringing both of Faith's hands to the sides of her face.
Both slayers felt a bolt of energy surged through their body as soon as Faith's hands made contact and Buffy closed her eyes and waited for Faith to begin.
Faith gasped feeling Buffy's face on her hands. Her hands were shaking slightly, but slowly, she felt what was Buffy's nose. Then she moved and felt Buffy's lips, and cheeks, and finally her eyelids. Tears were streaming down her face but not from sadness but from joy.
"Faith," Buffy smiled, her own tears ran down her face.
"Buffy...are you crying," Faith asked a little worried that she might have hurt the girl, "Did I hurt you?"
"No, I'm just really happy," Buffy replied as she held the brunette's hand against her face.
"Me too B....Me too."
Faith sat in the front lobby of the UC Sunnydale Training Center for the Blind, nervously clinging to Buffy's hand; <God this is all happening so fast. First I tell Buffy she loves me, then she tells me that she feels the same way, we kiss. Oh my God what a kiss, I thought I was in heaven. Then there was the touching, I loved the touching, feeling my hands run across her soft skin, touching her tender lips. Damn I got to stop thinking about this or I'll be all turned on for my first day here and that would be bad.>
Buffy comfortingly squeezed Faith's hand, "A penny for your thoughts."
"I was thinking about this morning...about us."
"Oh, y-your not re-regretting it are you?"
Faith was momentarily shocked by Buffy's Question, "No of course not. B I love you, this morning was so perfect, I've never been happier, it's just that, it's that I'm..."
"You're what Faith," Buffy asked, her voice laced with concern.
"I'm afraid and I'm not suppose to be afraid. B I don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I can make it."
Buffy let go of Faith's hand and pulled the brunette into a hug, she placed her forehead on Faith's.
The younger slayer let out a low sigh, she could feel Buffy's warm breath against her neck.
"Faith you don't have to do this on your own."
"I don't," Faith replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I'm here, and I'm not gonna let you do this alone."
Faith's heart was rapidly pounding in her chest, "Y-you're gonna h-help?"
"I love you Faith. Of course I am gonna help," Buffy gently kissed Faith on the cheek, "We're gonna do this together, we're gonna get through this."
"Together," Faith asked as tears rolled down her face.
Kristine Irving watched the two young women each other and waited. She had been a councilor at the center for five years now and understood what the two women were going through, she had seen it many times before and knew that if they were going to succeed in the program that moments like this were a necessity.
After the two young lovers broke their hug Kristine walked over to them and introduced herself, "Hi I'm Kristine which one of you is Faith?"
"I-I am," Faith reluctantly replied.
Buffy sensed the brunette's uneasiness with the situation and tightened her grip around Faith.
Kristine smiled at the two young women and noted how protective the petite blonde appeared to be, she had seen this before but this time it was different, there was something in the blonde's eyes that made her take a step backwards, something that said I'm not going to let anything hurt her so watch your step.
"I'm going to be...Faith's councilor," a very intimidated Kristine replied, "I'm going to help Faith with learning how to get around, cooking, cleaning, that sort of stuff."
Buffy stared out the councilor for a second, then smiled, "I'm Buffy. Faith's girlfriend."
Faith felt her heart skip a beat, <She called me her girlfriend, B called me her girlfriend.> She leaned into Buffy's hug, her face filled with bliss, <I'm B's girlfriend.>
Kristine smiled at Buffy, she knew why the blonde had been looking at it that way, she had seen it before on the faces of husbands and wives who had brought their spouses into the center. They were being protective of the one they loved and didn't mean to come across in an intimidating manner, however something told her that the blonde knew exactly what she was doing, that she was intentionally trying to intimated her.
"It's nice to meet both of you, would the two of you like to join me in my office."
Kristine sat back in her chair and looked at the young couple, she could tell the Faith was nervous about the whole situation but what had her more concerned was the way the blond stare was seemly shooting right through her, she could almost see the wheels turning in Buffy's mind, trying to decide if she should entrust her girlfriend's care to her or not.
Kristine let out a sigh of relief when the uncomfortable silence was broken by someone knocking on her door, "It's open."
Giles poked his head in the office, "They told me I could find my niece Faith in here."
Kristine felt a wave of relief come over her, "Ahh Mr. Giles I'm Kristine Irving, we talked on the phone. I'm really glad you could make it, please come in."
Giles stepped into the office wondering why the middle aged women was so happy to see him. As soon as he spotted Buffy sitting next to Faith that question was answered, his surrogate daughter was sitting next to Faith looking like she had just stumbled across a nest of vampires and was deciding which one to stake first.
Giles sat down next to Faith and shot Buffy a fatherly glare, "Sorry I'm late, somehow my alarm clock keeps getting turned off."
"That's quite all right," Kristine replied.
Kristine took a deep breath, "Well we should get down to business. I believe our director outlines the program for you when you came here yesterday. Today I would like to talk to the three of you a little bit then start Faith on some mobility training."
"Mobility Training," Buffy inquired.
"Y-yes, I-it's what the director was talking about…teaching Faith h-how to get around on her o-own."
Kristine turned her attention to Faith and hoped her girlfriend didn't have anymore questions, "Do you have any questions about the mobility training?"
"No, I'm five by five," Faith replied, squeezing Buffy's hand.
"Good then I'll press on. Mr. Giles."
"Call me Rupert."
"Okay Rupert, as her uncle and legal guardian you are going to play a critical role in her recovery, and Buffy as her girlfriend you also have a major role to play in all of this."
Giles shot a quick glance over to Buffy who sheepishly turned away from him, <Girlfriend, great that's another thing I'm going to have to talk to Buffy about.>
"Getting the two of you involved in the recovery process along with any other friends and family is vital. Do you understand this?"
Buffy and Giles both nodded in agreement.
"Second I need to schedule a home visit so I can see where Faith is living, we'll show you how to make her place easier for her to get around and a good part of the training is going to take place there."
Kristine stood from behind her desk, "Well unless you have questions I guess it's time for me and Faith to get to know each other so I'll be talking to the two of you later today when you come back at 5."
"I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying here with Faith," Buffy exclaimed.
"You're what," Giles demanded.
"I'm staying here with Faith, I can skip my classes for today."
"Buffy you need to go to your classes!"
"You should listen to Mr. Giles," Kristine added in desperation, "besides if I am to effectively help Faith I need to talk to her one on one."
"You can, I'll just be here too."
"Buffy Anne Summers you're going to your classes or I'm going to be forced to call your Mom at the Gallery," Giles threatened.
"Call I'm staying here with Faith," Buffy retorted.
Giles rubbed his head, <God she's going to give me a stroke,> "Buffy if you want to do what is best for Faith you'll go to your classes and let Ms. Irving do her job."
"B," Faith softly replied.
"What is it?"
"I'll be okay here. Could you go to your classes for me?"
"Positive, besides it will give us something to talk about when you come back this afternoon, okay?"
"Okay," Buffy answered before giving Faith a good-bye kiss, "I'll see you in a few hours."
"I'll be waiting."
"Uh Mr. Giles, Rupert could I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure," Giles replied following Faith's councilor into the hallway.
"There seems to be a slight problem with your nieces recovery program."
Giles looked understandably at the councilor, "Buffy?"
"Yes, I know she means well but she isn't helping Faith any."
"I know, I'll talk to her about it."
"You think that will work?"
"I don't know, if it doesn't I'll talk to her Mom."
"Thanks Rupert, I'll see you around 5."
...to be continued...