So Far to Sanctify
by Alexandra J. Campbell aka FuffyChick45
Disclaimer: All owned by Joss...all hail he.:p
Author's Notes: Set during "Sanctuary" alludes to "Revelations" and "Bad Girls"...though, this will all be trivial later seeing as how it's the first part of my attempted PWP for the FicFest at Passionate Oasis.;)
Feedback: Living on it.
The words are all mumbled, choppy, and erratic when they spill off my lips, no wonder she doesn't want to believe them, no wonder she doesn't want to believe the only real remorse I'd ever felt in my entire life. She's offly keen on beating me to death, but survey says she's more concerned about me running, where the hell could I run to, I'm on a fricken' rooftop?
"Just tell me how to make it better."
I guess that shuts *her* up, me on the verge of tears when I really always have been, all you'd have to do is scratch the surface to see so, but she's seen me there before, not long after the whole Angel incident last year. I felt her watching me through the window when I was convinced she'd walked away. She never confronted me about it, never pointed it out. I guess she thought I was ashamed, but fact is, she was. Him being back did nothing, but complicate the hell out of everything, we wouldn't understand why for awhile, we wouldn't let ourselves... Cause there was always that one other time later, the night she'd somehow convinced herself never happened...
It races through my mind a bit as we dodge bullets together, like we always do. A single touch of her hand sends me reelin' into pieces of the past....
"You don't get it, you killed a man."
"Nooooo. You don't get it, I don't care."
Least I didn't want to....Her face dropped in recognition of what that might have meant, but seeing as how she's just as glutton, she didn't move, she couldn't stand too, it's the only time she didn't attempt to bail, and maybe the only time I didn't attempt to keep her there in one way or the other, instead, she'd gathered each thought, and spoke.
"You don't mean that...you, you can't...you're better than that."
"I don't mean a lot of things, and who says I am...you?" It came out harsher than I expected, a slap in the face for all the times before I'd get mine, but no less bull-dozed by the comment before it. I never trully believed I was better than anything. I crossed my arms and shrugged sarcastically with a smile. If she was gonna push, I'd push back twice as hard instead of inviting her punches to beat the truth out of me, like I wanted her to.
"Wha..what don't you mean?" Her perfect lil face twisted in knots along with her stomach. And I'd finally felt it, what she felt. I felt me caring and god I fucking hated it because if anyone ever seemed like they didn't, it was her. Her voice dropped in a whilted whisper and her expression betrayed her, as mine was so soon to follow. I looked down shameful over the tear that was bout to spill.
"Never meant to make things harder for you" I kept my gaze down and wasn't even coherent when her arms rapped around me as tight as they did because it didn't seem possible, far too surreal for reality while they collapsed around in something beyond mere comfort. My body went limp against hers. I felt all my greatest fears stream against her shoulder, her believing I never cared about her when she asked, and me believing she never cared about me when I answered, gone. The biggest burden in the world was lifted off my shoulders, well, one of them...
When I realized what was happening her warmth spread something deadly throughout my bod. A flex came back in my fingertips, her face falling against mine softly as my grip caressed her back suddel, I stopped running right there, far too much the same to fall away, but far too different to not defy. Not naive to believe we both wanted this when her lips gently grazed mine. Every innuendo finally melted into her mouth. Make me breathe B.
Her hands strolled down my sides slow, the kindness only a killer can afford while attempting to be confused on exactly what to do, yet backing me into my own bed, her weight a writhe against mine, a kiss a few steps beyond confirmation, but just barely breaking into fluid flow. My tongue grazed hers, we both shivered with the contact, it was no more or less deep than that damn knife to my gut. I sank my hold on her into her back and held on for dear life, consumed every bit as much as I knew she was, though she not dare admit it, as the heat of it hit my hands taking on a life all their own, sliding her shirt up and off her body.
She sat up in a straddle with a mock shyness as her bra straps slipped down, dipping back down to my mouth, rubbing herself against the tank top that once had her beat in leaving next to knill for the imagination, that's now shredded and thrown to the side. Oh. The Hell. Well... on both accounts.
"God you feel so good." It was carnal, said while the tip of her tongue touched mine, while my breasts brushed hers, no doubt the most errotic thing I've ever heard, would ever hear again.
Then I was ripped right back into reality by her shaking my frame. I flinched s'more.
"Faith, they're gone, let's go."
I want to scream. She was so hell-bent on killing me just a minute ago, what with the saving, but I follow, why do I fucking follow? I creep out of my hiding spot and acknowledge her handy work, some random counsel member's body spread-out along the roof. I almost pity him, she beat him bloody, and the masocist in me wants to know what it was like. If our last lil encounter wouldn't have been interrupted by the cops, how it would have gone on forever, blow for blow, while the rest of this shit-hole of a world fell by the wayside, like it was meant to. That's what it always came down to though, interruptions. We're walking along and reality dims once more, the past experience ebbed out all over again...
"Damn so do you" I groan against her lips. I never felt so weak. Before I know what the hell is up I'm grinding and submersing myself in a kiss that never seemed to stop. We're dueling for some dominance, but it's still all soft. I suck her lower lip enjoying the taste, swelling it the hell up before her greedy fingers slide down and start working the zipper on my jeans. She pulls them down swift and graceful removing hers just as fast, laying between my thighs rubbing her pussy against mine like rubber went outta style. I knead steady circles into her back, flesh becoming puddy, entertaining the scorch and sizzle of just her pelvis rocking mine, clawing at her back when I feel her flow in, cradling her ass and ramming her into me so each and every solitary stroke gives me a jolt.
No part of me went untouched by her mouth, fueled fire to my lips, soft sucks to my neck, but she's headed down. My nipples are rolled around her tongue while every surrounding scrap of flesh is slicked with sweat and saliva leaving a trail down my stomach, but I never swallowed so hard in my life til when she parted my thighs and bite down an inch away from the mound to mark me. I choke at the sight, bury my fingers in her hair. The throb just inches from her face and sliding down my thighs all untamed yet tortured. I lick my lips gone dry and throw a lidded look. I don't moan or wriggle, but I did both as she ate away at me like melted cotton candy, hot and sticky sweet on a 100 degree day. She's got that urgency going, getting all the more rampant with her tongue, digging deeper, spite the screaming.
Her tongue steams up, spoiling my core with the attention. I keep my eyes open long enough to see hers shut. My head tips back into the pillow, mouth mummbling her name, running my fingers through her hair and restraining the pull to pull her ass back up into my arms where she belongs because despite the fact my whole bod is heated up, she ain't full-length along every inch of me, and I burn in and out for it. She read my mind and crawls back up with a smug smile. Our eyes locked on one another her hand caresses my face and I kiss her palm as it passes my lips and cascades down my body to where I ache the most.
Spreading eagle and placing my legs around her I harness her in place as her hand lingers between us, running idolly through my bush and circling the entrance, makes me wanna fucking beg. I growl softly, letting it go from the bottom of my throat. Knowingly, with a shit-eating grin, her fingers start strumming at my slit and plunge in abruptly when I pull her down hard for a fierce kiss. Somewhere between all that moron me kicks in and utters the words I didn't want to...
"I love you."
The rhythm of the ride musta gone to my head, but she didn't stop and said it back like it was the most natural thing on earth and I hate her for it. There I am clenching and contracting along the length of her fingertips while the chick of my dreams rocks up against my thighs, watching the reaction to every single stroke, someone should have fucking pinched me. She's pummelin' hard and fast into cunt like there's no tomorrow, fingers on over-drive, and all I seemed to feel at that moment were the words, that's some whack shit.
A well-oiled machine couldn't get it done like us, it was mind-blowing. I can feel those aftershocks coming back, her other hand in mine as I squeeze it tight against the pressure that bust out through my pores. Pushing. Pistoning. Pulling, mistaking her breath for mine. The sweetest friction in existance gone down like a repeated head-on collison, a mother-fucking train-wreck taring up my tracks. My G-spot is hooked and she spreads the sensation through my hips. I'm on edge and stiff with every plunge waiting for the drop. Then I feel me fall, then start to fucking fly. I come long and hard pulling her back for another savage kiss, my tongue slow to sink out her mouth, it all ending with the comfort of the warm wet...there was wave, after wave of convulsions til I simmered into the sheets, inhibriated and drunk on her like she was a prize bottle of Jack D.
I groan inword cause I still can't shake it, and I'm back in the present as I hear a door click shut behind me.
...to be continued...